By Guest Editor Oma Nzeh
Oma, from Houston, Texas, is a soon-to-be mother of two, doctor and blogger. A featured mama on our yearlong #MHRoadTrip, Oma talks about motherhood, medicine & more on her blog Fearlessly Oma. This post was originally shared on Fearlessly Oma on February 24, 2020.
As I am writing this post my daughter is actually 15 months old. So technically I have been a mother for more than one year. Oh well. It’s never too late for an on time and informative post on the things motherhood has taught me, especially if I can help another mother.
Motherhood was something I knew I always wanted to experience since I was a little girl. I was pretty sure I had an idea of what it would be like and the kind of mother I wanted to be. Fast forward 20+ years later and…umm yea. Don’t get me wrong. Motherhood is one of the most amazing blessings I have ever had the pleasure to experience, but it is definitely one of the hardest things I have ever done. I have learned so much in this short time, so I wanted share 10 things one year of motherhood taught me.
1. You don’t have all the answers.
Motherhood taught me this lesson quick. When the Lord dropped off my sweet little girl, He conveniently forgot to attach the manual. But I was like no problem God, I got this. I’m the oldest of five children. We all know that members of the “Oldest Kid” club rightfully claim that we raised ALL our siblings. And I did. I mean all those dirty diapers I changed “pre-motherhood” should count for something. WRONG! Raising your own child is its own special kind of rodeo. Once I got over the fact that there were no step-by-step instructions to this motherhood thing and to take everything as it comes, things became much, much easier.
2. You cannot do it all…by yourself.
I don’t care what anyone says. A real superwoman knows how to delegate. We put so much pressure on ourselves to personally perform every little household duty on our to do list. There is no shame in calling a cleaning lady or ordering meal prep/groceries. If you are a mother, especially a new mother, I encourage you to seek help and even more importantly ALLOW others to help you. Help from family and friends and outsourcing has significantly reduced my anxiety as a new mother and also helped me to have more intentional quality time with my Little One.
3. I appreciate anything hands free.
Have you tried traveling with a baby or small child? Going through TSA taught me this lesson about myself. After one flight with my daughter, I learned to strap her to my chest, put all essentials in a backpack and check everything else in because you need your hands available at a moment’s notice. Trust me.
4. Messes are temporary.
Say goodbye to your Pinterest perfect nursery, playroom, or *insert entire house here*. Children make messes. Especially as they grow. My daughter is now running around our house throwing all my throw pillows off the couch any chance she can get. I mean they are called “throw” pillows, right? I have accepted the part of my job description as a mother that means after my daughter has tired herself out from her fun and is laying down for her nap, I will just pick up all the pillows and the rest of the many toys she has and doesn’t even play with, just to reset the house for her to mess it up once her little feet hit the floor again. As frustrating as it can be to watch my ZGallerie pillows hit the floor multiple times a day, the high-pitched giggles that escape her mouth while she’s doing it make up for it. A little bit. #MOMLIFE
5. Children have personalities and emotions just like us.
As we have newly entered toddler life, this has become increasingly apparent. I personally think this has been one of the coolest things to witness in motherhood. Learning everything about my daughter from her likes and dislikes to what sparks joy in her world has been a wondrous daily blessing.
6. You don’t always have “Mommy guilt”.
This might be unpopular opinion, but you don’t always have “Mommy guilt.” Sometimes you sneak out for a night with the girls without rushing home or hide in the closet to enjoy a bowl of ice cream alone in peace. Guilt free. And that’s ok.
7. Mom brain is a real thing.
I promise you that once you become a mother, you will walk in the kitchen and totally forget what you came in there for. The even more frustrating part about this is that you will be taking a shower and mid-lather you will randomly remember why you went into the kitchen earlier, jump out the shower, and get to the kitchen to forget all over again. This may or may not have happened to me many, many times.
8. Take care of yourself.
I learned this lesson the hard way. Maternity leave was actually a breeze. You know because I didn’t have that whole “work thing” to worry about. During those first three months I felt like I was able to get in some personal time, but after about a month back at work and simultaneous #MOMLIFE, I was a hot, raggedy mess. Not to mention I was snapping on Hubby for the littlest things like not making the bed. I mean he got out of it last, but that’s beside the point. LOL. Self-care is critical to my mental health, even more so in motherhood.
9. Take time for Hubby.
Speaking of Hubby, dads need love too. When our Little Ones first arrive, we are pretty much wrapped up in everything about them, but just as much as we need to make sure we are not neglecting ourselves, we need to make sure we are not neglecting our husbands. You may not be ready to leave your little one with a babysitter so early on and that’s ok. Try to make the most of your Little One’s nap time. Forget about the laundry and snuggle up with your Hubby on the couch for some good old-fashioned Netflix and chill.
10. Be present.
One of my favorite things my daughter does is bring one of her books, puts it in my lap and motions for me to read to her. It doesn’t matter what I am doing. When she wants my attention, she wants my attention. And I make sure I give it to her. I cherish moments like these because she’s literally growing before my eyes. I swear I woke up one day and she magically had four teeth and was saying “Mama.” Yes. She said “Mama” first. *inserts grin*. I don’t take small moments like these for granted because before I know it, she will be in her cap and gown giving a speech as valedictorian for her graduating class. Yes. Valedictorian. I mean why not. 🙂
I am so grateful that God has allowed me to experience Motherhood. He used me to bring forth life into this world and He saw fit to entrust me to guide one of His children. I am truly honored. I can’t believe how much motherhood taught me in such a short time. I can’t wait to see what else is in store in the years to come.
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